He was the flow
She was the wind
And I drifted somewhere between them

Hoping the fresh ocean would call my fate
I ended up with wet
And messy hair
Unsure which style I prefer

I dive and discover
My future, unwritten
Where answers are yet to arrive 
And clarity keeps hidden

I’m dancing on the waves
Created by wind and flow
Enjoying every beat
Unsure where I will go

Now, lost at sea
Who’s finding me?
Is it the wind or the flow
who will lead me to my destined shore?

How can I be me
When there are so many parts of me?
How can you see me
When I don’t show all of my qualities?
When will you notice
That I don’t fit in
You don’t fit in 
They don’t fit in
No one fits in
No one fits in 
No one fits in
No one fits in
Because the box is just an illusion
It’s not real
It’s an illusion 
It’s not real not real not real not real not not not not not not not not not not not not 

Aren’t we old enough to stop believing in The fairytale?

We’re thirsty for more
Bur scared to drink the truth

When thirst becomes synonym to comfort
Who is willing to drink the future?

Where water is described as poison
                     By those who are afraid
Who dares to drink the saving water 
To our dry hearts?

When salvation is right beside us
Why don’t we have a taste?

Who dares to be hydrated 
In a world of shallow indulgences 

The layers of coldness that cover our flaws
Are slowly melting away

We become naked again
Stripped of the covers
That once kept us warm
Exposed to a new energy

Unknown but familiar
A new future dressed like the past
Do you see the pastel contrast?

The white cover reverses 
New light 
New hope
New colors start to rebound

Where whiteness meets her end
She’ll always remain
The foundation of any pastel rainbow

The smell of autumn
The smell of fresh air
                                                                                                                                  
Autumns screams change is here
Autumn knows change brings peace

An initial coldness is felt
Until you look at the trees and absorb
The warmth of their colors

Leaves on the ground
Leaves all around

Green yellow orange red
The list can go on
Change never ends
     
Where letting go feels cold
Let the vision make you warm 
For the future you will hold

What autumns wants us to know:
Change can be beautiful 
It can make us grow

Why do we fear being alone? Or being seen alone?

Why do you?

I think we don’t fear being alone. We fear becoming lonely. Still we believe being alone equals loneliness, yet in reality, loneliness is an emotion that occurs more often in group situations. It is the result of misunderstanding, overconsumptions and people-pleasing. By being surrounded by the wrong people, we tent to adjust ourselves to them, changing our authentic character and hiding our true selves. Abandoning it and leaving it alone. Our soul is left lonely.

Our soul. Our spirit. Our authenticity.

Our true self.

I used to only be able to express my true self when I was alone: I danced in front of the mirror, solely the one in my room which I knew no one would enter. I had conversations with myself that I never had with others. I admitted things to myself, but couldn’t express them outloud. I didn’t feel lonely alone. I felt comfortable.

However, once surrounded by others, I hid my true self. I tried to fit it, and changed myself. I was shy. Prefered to be liked. Prefered not to be alone in public situations. Being together makes you seem stronger. When you’re not alone, people will like me. I didn’t have anything to say, my brain reminding me: this quiet version of me would be liked better than my loud, weird version. But at the same time, I judged myself: why am I so quiet, no one will like me if i stay this shy, say something, talk louder, be interesting!!

It took me a while to figure out, loneliness comes from judgement - judging yourself. Self-criticism kills our peace. Self-criticism is the biggest cause of loneliness. And it has been my biggest regret.

But I’ve grown. I’ve learned. I’ve healed. And I don’t ever want to go back. I like who am I. I love who I am. And if others don’t, that’s fine, because I don’t need to be loved to feel loved. (I mean, Ofcourse we need loved onces in our life, friends and family that care about us, but if someone doesn’t appreciate you correctly, you shouldn’t convince them to stay.)

Being at peace with yourself is so attractive. I always admired people who do everything they want to do, who talk without overthinking. Who dress uniquely cool. Who dare to be extraordinary. I’ve always been mesmerized by confident people that are unappoligatically themselves, and I still am. They inspired me to change. To become myself. Without judgement.

Even though I had no clue who i was, and I still have a lot to discover about myself, but I guess that’s the beauty of being a human. We are limitless. We are undefinable. We change all the time, and therefore we are each so unique. There is so much power in us, we just need to use it.

Now that I’ve grown to like or accept all my parts, I’ve discovered how peaceful being alone is. Where I used to be scared to go basically anywhere alone, I now feel so comfortable. I stopped focussing on what other thought about me, and shift my attention to my goals and interests, giving a purpose to my life and making it more mine. I stopped seeking for validation and acceptance in others, and learned to give it to myself.

The more i’ve grown to like myself, the more I want to teach others to do the same. Yet, I can’t just assume others don’t like themselves because they don’t spent quality time alone. Where I love direct self-discovery and change, others might love repetition and familiarity.

Still, sometimes I wonder they only like it because they are scared of discomfort, making them trapped in a world ruled by their fears. To me, fears make me feel alive.

To be continued..

Lots of love and peace <3

You might feel like you haven’t made any growth, but you have. You continued to show up for yourself, and that consistency is enough. Maybe it’s cliché to say slow progress is better than no progress, but it is true. If you give up now, there won’t be more improvement at all. Certain ambitions can’t be achieved in a short time, therefore you have to give yourself more time.

Keep chasing your dreams because you promised yourself. Quitting now will probably feel worse than struggling now. Would you consider giving this up if you had made that same promise to your best friend who looks up to you? Probably not, so stay true to yourself. Treat yourself in the same way you would treat the people you love, and watch your confidence grow.

It’s okay to admit that you’re having a hard time. Struggles make this goal more worth it. Imagine yourself accomplishing the goal. Imagine you can say there was this time you were facing so much resistance you almost gave up, but you didn’t. You didn’t. And that’s why you are now here. Celebrating this goal. This big goal. Or small goal. Whatever. You did it. Because you are strong. Because you are a go-getter. Because you are irresistible.

Decide to continue. Decide to try a new way. If you consider giving up, analyze where this feeling is coming from? Maybe you have been working in the wrong way. Maybe you lost your authenticity during the process. Maybe you feel like it’s going too slow. Maybe you’re not seeing any result. Yet I’m sure there are. When we are thinking about giving up, we lose sight of the little things we have accomplished.

Maybe you can make a list with all the small steps you have made already: all the fears you have faced. All the people you have told. All the effort you made. All the consistency. All the lessons you have learned. Write down all these small things because they are worth celebrating. Because before you started working on this goal, you didn’t know these things. You learned. You grew. And you can keep improving if you realize why it’s so important for you to continue.

Remind yourself why you started. There was a reason you wanted to work towards this objective, what was it? This aim meant something to your younger self, so do you really want to give up on it now? Imagine what your life will look like without this goal. Which life do you prefer?

Your reaching out to this letter is a sign that you’re not ready to give up yet. I’m sure you still have it in you to continue, to pursue this dream. You can push through these challenges because you are stronger than you think. You are stronger than you ever were before. You are so powerful and incredible and you are capable of succeeding. But you won’t be if you give up now. If you don’t push through now, then when?

Believe in yourself. If you think you can’t do it, you won’t, but if you think you can, you will. Adopting a growth mindset is necessary if you want to push through. This hard challenge is just temporary and it is growing you. Just take the first step, you don’t need to see the whole staircase yet.

Thank you for reading my motivational letter. Did you learn something from this? What goal are you currently working on? Feel free to reply to this letter. Let’s motivate each other <3.

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Recently I became obsessed with the quote ‘I don’t chase, I attract’, but what does is actually mean?

When we say ‘I don’t chase’, does it mean I should stop setting the first step?

When I think about chasing, I think about blindly running after something, not caring about anything else, and just focusing on that 1 thing. You’re trying to catch something, that is in fact, running away from you.

• I don’t chase people

• I do chase dreams

We might shouldn’t chase people, but we can chase our dreams.

Illusions of others will never become reality. Even if you’re good at reading people, the fake scenario you make about them will never become real because they’re human, and, we can’t control humans. People will always be in charge of their own behavior, and your imagination about them will always stay an imagination. It might sound quite brutal, but if you imagine how perfect other people are, you will become disappointed when you realize how they truly are: imperfect. Perfectly imperfect.

While fantasizing about others, we tend to only focus on their good qualities, rather than all their qualities, including the unsatisfying ones. Being realistic doesn’t mean you have to be pessimistic. You can acknowledge their poor qualities, without giving them all your attention.

I don’t believe chasing people is ever a good idea, because the right people will never dare to lose you. They will see your worth and not run away from it. Why would you put more effort into someone else than into yourself? Shift your focus.

I think chasing is a form of desperation. When we don’t know ourselves, we crave understanding from other people. We chase people we desire to be, since our fixed-mindset is telling us we can’t be them. We’re desperate for their love and attention, because we value them more than we value ourselves. We chase other people when we want something from them: love, money, attention, validation, etc.

You chase what you are not. So, if you want to stop chasing, you need to start changing. Find out what it is exactly that you crave in the other person, and start giving it to yourself. Mostly it is not a thing but a feeling. You might crave love, safety, stability or understanding. Start giving yourself these feelings by listening to yourself and spending time with yourself. Be your own friend. Make yourself happy.

Don’t chase people, chase your dreams. We should focus on making our dreams reality, rather than waiting for our imagination to suddenly become real. Dreams don’t work, unless you do. So chase your dreams. If you’re not consistent, if you stop chasing, you give the dream a chance to run away.

I believe life is too short to try to be liked by everyone. Instead of focusing on your popularity, shift your attention to your self-love. Loving yourself for who you truly are, is more valuable than being loved for being someone inauthentic.

When you’re chasing the right things, you will attract the right things. Chase attention and you will become lonely. Chase validation and you will attract insecure people. Chase your dreams, and you will attract success.

When we want to attract the right people, we need to interact with them. We need to initiate conversations, we need to go up to them and introduce ourselves. Setting the first step isn’t a chase, it’s an interaction with an opportunity you attracted.

We’re all human beings that crave connections. If you want to attract the right people, you need to go to places where you will find these people. Who are ‘the right people’ for you? Are they sporty? Socialize in a sport club. Are they artistic? Socialize in a museum or art class. If you feel like you’ve been attracting the wrong people, you might just have been looking in the wrong places. Though, the wrong people might feel more familiar, we should be ready to accept and allow the right people in.

Finally, in today’s society, I think it’s impossible to expect you will just suddenly attract the right people. People barely ever come to me first. Ask me to hang out. Put effort in me first. But that doesn’t mean they can’t be right for me. My time is precious. As an impatient person who doesn’t like to wait for others, I don’t mind setting the first step, asking to hang out first. How can people be attracted to me when they don’t know me? That’s why you should give people a chance to get to know you. So set that step. Let people in. Ask them to hang out first. And see how it turns out.

Lots of love <3

Hi,

If there is one thing I’ve learned from living abroad, it’s the influence of our environment. The people we surround ourselves with have a HUGE impact on our mental health and happiness. People can make us feel like we’re not good enough, they can make us feel sad, confused, lost, stupid, stressed, disappointed and ashamed. It’s hard to constantly deal with negative emotions.

Therefore I believe it’s important to reflect on the people you spend time with the most and deal with them in the right way. When you feel drained after hanging out with them, why is that? Do they cross your boundaries? Do they have different values? Ask yourself if you still want to be friends with them? Why do you spend time with them anyway? Are you scared to be lonely?

Of course you don’t need to leave everyone who makes you feel slightly sad or disappointed. No one is perfect. But maybe it’s a good thing to tell them where your boundaries are or to tell them how you feel. If people don’t know that certain comments make you feel insecure, they won’t stop saying them, or if you you would like for them to put more effort in you, they won’t give that if you don’t tell them.

When we surround ourself with the right people, it makes us automatically happy. We become like the people in our close environment. So, if your friends are confident, happy and non-judgmental, you are more likely to become like that too.

You attract what you are, that’s the law of attraction. Which means that people are more likely to become friends with people who are like them, with who they have a lot in common, because it makes us feel safe and understood. However, if you’re trying to change, you need to change your environment too. If you want to be less insecure and stop seeking validation of others, you need to meet people that are like that. People who will uplift you because they have characteristics that you admire and want to develop yourself.

That leads me to the quote: “fake it till you make it”. If you just pretend like you already are the best version of yourself, you will literally become her/him. If you pretend like you’re confident, you will act confident, and you’re more likely to attract highly confident people as well. You just need to be consistent with it, and the habit of acting like a confident person, and sooner or later, it will be a part of who you truly are.

We can’t control the people around us but we can control who we surround ourselves with. So, choose wisely who you let close. We can’t control other people’s behavior and we shouldn’t want that either. We can control surely our own behavior and by allowing yourself to be treated like shit, you will continue to be treated as such. If people don’t accept your boundaries, they are not worthy of your love and attention.

So with all kindness and respect, continue to choose yourself and set boundaries. Protecting your peace and happiness isn’t selfish, it’s a way to love yourself.

Lots of love <3

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I’m sorry to hear that you feel this way. Life isn’t always easy, and going through hard phases is unfortunate. You might feel lost and abandoned, unsure of who actually knows you. You feel like people don’t care enough about you and deep down you just desire to be seen, heard and understood. You crave attention and connection. You feel alone in this world full of people. You feel lonely.

Know that it is okay to feel this way. Admitting that you struggle means you’re already moving toward healing. You’re not going through a hard phase, you’re growing through a hard phase.

Firstly, I think it’s important to note that this feeling of loneliness happens to everyone. You’re not alone in this world, even if you might feel like that. It might seem like everyone has life figured out, or that everyone is having fun all the time, but that’s untrue. We don’t see what people go through, just like they don’t see what you’re going through. Deep down, everyone is scared to be seen failing, so we try to hide it.

Loneliness is a feeling we can learn to embrace. It’s a crucial emotion that shows us we’re evolving, we’re outgrowing people, we’re changing and therefore we might feel alone because people will judge us for changing.

This feeling is temporary, just like all the others. Try to let the emotion be, instead of avoiding it, look it in the eyes and admire it. Connect with it. Analyze it. How does it feel? Is your heartbeat rising? Are you cold ? Or warm? Do you feel stressed? Calm? All emotions are valid. So give this one a hug before you move on to the next one.

When analysing the emotion, dig into the past. When did you start feeling this way? What triggered you? Try to understand its cause, so you can find a correct solution.

Loneliness is an emotion that can occur in time alone as well as in group situations.

I discovered that whenever I feel lonely in a group, that group simply isn’t meant for me. Being surrounded by the right people, will never feel like loneliness. It’s okay to admit that some people aren’t your fit, or aren’t your fit anymore. In order to feel less lonely, it’s necessary to distance ourselves from those who make us feel as such and to reconnect with ourselves. You might not want to do that because you don’t want to hurt them, but by people pleasing you keep hurting yourself and sometimes you need to be a little selfish to survive.

People change, we change. That’s life. So change with it and meet new people. Meet yourself. People aren’t always meant to be in our lives forever, and that’s fine.

Replacing loneliness with aloneness is a key to feel better about yourself. Loneliness arrives when we’re focusing and relying on others, while aloneness is a state where we don’t feel the need to connect with others, where we’re at peace with being alone. It’s understandable to crave other people’s attention and acknowledgement, but on the other hand, we can’t rely on it. Our own attention and appreciation should be enough. When you’re enough for yourself, you will discover you don’t need anyone else to make you feel fulfilled, because you’re fulfilled with your own company.

We can create more aloneness by setting time apart for solo-dating and trying out new hobbies alone, for example: go to a museum alone, bake, go to a cafe and journal or read, join a yoga class, etc. Spending time alone is a valuable tool to connect with yourself on a deeper level. Enjoy your own company. Align your mind, body and soul and just have fun. Instead of fearing to become lonely, start romanticizing your solitude.

Another tip I can give is to limit social media consumption. Doomscrolling isn’t only a waste of time, but also a waste of energy. It’s full of perfect and happy people, but it’s not real life. It makes us feel lonely because we see all these people having fun, which makes us feel like we’re missing out or doing something wrong in life. Which you’re not. We start comparing ourselves and begin to believe we’re not good enough. This should be reason eneugh to unfollow the celebrities that don’t inspire, but solely entertain you. I can assure that you won’t miss out on their content, because you never miss out when you’re working on yourself.

A new habit you can implement in your routine is journaling. You can answer shadow work questions (search on Pinterest for inspo) or document your struggles while analyzing them. By writing about your true thoughts and experiences, you will understand yourself better, which will make you more self-aware and conscious. Try to dig deep and be completely honest. You journal only for yourself, so there is no need to hold any walls up or to feel embarrassed. It will allow you to connect deeper with yourself since you will learn how to be vulnerable to yourself.

Let this emotion be a call to action, a motivation to move forward. You are the person you need. You’re not lonely, you only lost yourself.

Lots of love <3

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What if the biggest threat to your success isn't failure, but distraction? Concentration is an important tool for achieving a goal, but if we get distracted, we lose it. It makes us waste time, which we’re likely to regret later on. This can slow the process of achieving your goal and can even demotivate you. Distractions aren’t only based on technology—emotional and psychological distractions also form a barrier to concentration.

We’re most prone to distractions when we don’t have a clear priority. While working towards a goal with no meaning, we feel like we’re wasting time. That’s when we become an easy target for distractions. One way to solve this issue is by adding value to the goal. Remind yourself of the WHY, the things you will learn throughout the process, and visualize yourself reaching your goals and achieving success.

To overcome a distraction, we need to identify its trigger: What makes you reach for your phone or avoid important work? How do you wish to feel during your distraction? And after?

Most distractions are connected to our emotions: We’re tired, so we don’t want to put in the hard work. We’re scared to miss out, so we focus on that fear instead of the goal. Your emotions are holding you back. They find a way to mess with your head and break your concentration. Even though there is no way we can control our emotions, we can control how we react to them.

By changing our behavior, we can manage to keep our focus at a high level. Instead of letting our actions depend on our mood, we can separate them and act nevertheless: You’re scared, so do it scared.

In today’s society, phones are the most common source of distraction. When the work begins to feel too hard, we tend to chase instant dopamine. Even though working towards goals releases happy hormones, we’re likely not to feel fulfilled enough when the process takes too long. Therefore, we crave our phone, on which we often spend more time than planned.

We prefer to do anything but put in the hard work, because it doesn’t feel rewarding enough. Luckily, we can create a healthy habit to make ourselves feel more fulfilled. The rewarding habit is based on a prize you give yourself after you’ve put in some hard work. Instead of creating happy hormones by doomscrolling on your phone (which probably makes you less happy in the long run), you can reward yourself by buying something from your wishlist or FaceTiming a friend. Make sure the reward is something you desire or enjoy doing.

We can use our potential by adopting a growth mindset. Start believing you can achieve anything you put your mind to and act like it. Dreams don’t become reality overnight, but your future self will be grateful for the effort you put in today. Don’t let fears and insecurities stand in your way. They’re here so you can learn from them and evolve. The process would be too easy without struggles, so embrace them and continue on your path.

Our potential is endless. We can grow every single day. If there is one thing people can’t take away from you, it’s your mind. There is no limit to your skills and knowledge. You will always have yourself and your inner voice. It’s up to you to decide how developed, kind, and optimistic it is. No one has power over you—except you.

Short Step-by-Step Guide to Overcome Distractions

1. Identify the distractions and their triggers

2. Separate your mood from your goal

3. Create a new healthy habit, such as a rewarding habit

And don’t forget: nobody is going to do it for you. You rely on yourself. You can do it! <3

There was this time I had a conversation with a guy who was telling me why it’s a waste for me to be single, that I should explore my options and just kiss people because it’s fun. Even tough I explained to him that I’m not that type of person and that I actually enjoy being single, he kept repeating his opinion over and over again, until a certain point where I just decided to get along with him. I told him I totally agreed with him and that I am obviously the problem and that from now on, I will work on myself. He was happy, so he stopped convincing me. I was happy because he stopped convincing me.

I pretended to agree so I could protect my energy.

In life, people aren’t always gonna be as open-minded as you. People will not always understand your perspective, but that doesn’t mean your perspective is wrong. Not everyone needs to understand you. Not everyone needs to be on your side. In fact, being on your own side should be enough. You are enough.

Convincing people of your rightness is solely a search for validation. We crave other people’s acknowledgment because it makes us feel less lonely. It makes us feel better about ourselves. And it boosts our ego. It’s in our human nature to desire being seen and valued. We don’t want to live life for nothing. But trust me darling, we don’t live for nothing, but we surely don’t live for other people to love us and agree with us all the time. Dare to disagree. Dare to have an outstanding opinion. And most of all, dare to be yourself.

It’s annoying not to be heard and understood, but you can’t keep pouring energy in others just because you want them to understand you. Some people will never understand you, because they only see what they want to see. Lots of people live in illusions because they are scared to face reality. They only believe the things they want to believe and they don’t want to understand your rightness because in fact, it hurts them. The truth hurts and therefore we tend to ignore it. It’s not your fault people are like this, and we can’t fix them either. It’s people’s own responsibility to fix themselves.

Not everyone is worthy of your time and energy, and it’s up to you to decide in who you pour your energy in. We shouldn’t give people too many chances because then you give them power to manipulate and use you. If people are able to hurt you over and over again without any punishment, they will keep doing that because they know there aren’t any consequences.

Protecting your energy is a way to love yourself. Setting boundaries and taking distance from people that drain you isn’t selfish, it’s a correct way to deal with them. If people don’t respect you, you need to let them know you don’t accept that. Protecting your peace is a way to respect and value yourself.

Don’t let negative energy get to you.

Stay strong 💪 💖

Lots of love,

Annelie

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Hi,

Sometimes I wonder: What’s the purpose of life?

But I came to the conclusion: there is none. We just live to make the most out of everything. There is no reason for why we exist. We just do. But we can give our own life a purpose. We can set goals for ourselves. We’re alive to live, not only to exist. We are given this chance to experience, to have fun and to grow, and I think we should take it.

We as humans try to give a purpose or reason to everything. It’s sad to do things for no reason, right? To just do things without a reason why. Things are more interesting if we give it a reason: going to school because we have to or going to school so we can learn and increase our knowledge, so we can meet people who want to learn the same things, so we can have a degree and find a job we like more easily. Same action, different mindset.

We spend so much time trying to find our purpose, trying to make the right choices, trying to live life in the best way possible, but what if I tell you that nothing in life is determined? That your life isn’t planned out, that your path to the future can’t be found because it still needs to be built. The future doesn’t exist, YET. We can’t find our purpose because it doesn’t exist YET. Our purpose can be whatever we desire. Things are only destined to be if we think they are.

Sometimes there is no why. Sometimes we can do things just because we can. We don’t have to explain everything. We don’t need to have a reason to like or dislike things. Sometimes we just do. Things happen — not always with a reason, not always with a deeper meaning. And that’s okay.

Most things do have a scientific explanation, but does it really hold any value? When we wonder why things are the way they are, the science behind it doesn’t satisfy us. We exist because of a big bang and billion years of evolution. But is that truth really fulfilling enough? Us living is a miracle, seeking for a reason why we do is holding us back from living. Just accept that we’re alive and that we can do whatever. Decide how you want to spend your time and try not to waste it because it will never come back.

Searching for the reason why can be a waist of time. We seek an explanation so we can cope with reality easier, but knowing the reason won’t always fix the problem. Action will. Acceptance will. Sometimes we just have to accept that things are the way they are, and stop spinning in circles looking for reasons that won’t change anything.

Most people’s goal in life is to be happy, but why are you putting happiness as a goal? Why are you not already happy? We shouldn’t say things like: when I graduate I will be happy or when I have a girlfriend I will be happy. You should be happy nevertheless. Our happiness shouldn’t depend on anything or anyone. Don’t wait to have something to be happy, but be happy already. Happiness is a mindset anyway, so having more things won’t really add up to that feeling, or at least, not for a long duration.

Or people who say they want to become rich, that having lots of money will make them happy. But it’s such a lie. Rich is such a meaningless word. What does it mean to be rich? When are you rich enough? Does it really matter to be rich? You just seek validation and power. We say we want to be rich but in reality we just don’t want to worry about money. Having a lot of money takes away worries and gives us more opportunities. We always seek for more, but in the end we will come to the conclusion that achieving the goal doesn’t bring us happiness. The real happiness comes from working towards the goal.

Less is more. More makes us miserable. More is too much. Additionally, power is addictive and when we’re addicted to something we’re controlled by it. We seek power because we want to control everything, but seeking power makes us even less powerful.

To create your best purpose you need to find out what is actually valuable to you. No one else can decide what is best for you. You can change your so called purpose at any time in your life. You can even chose to live without purpose. How we live is totally up to us. Living isn’t something we can do wrong or right. Life isn’t a test — it’s an experience.

Lots of love,

Annelie

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My Journey Through Anxiety and Decision Paralysis

I have dealt with social anxiety for a long period of my life. I used to stress about almost every little decision I had to make: from saying the right things at the right time, to always being punctual, to actually moving abroad, going to therapy, and changing my way of thinking. I’ve made some realizations about anxiety and decision-making that I would love to share.

Why Decisions Used to Terrify Me

I hated making decisions. Big decisions. Small decisions. All decisions. They caused me stress because every choice seemed to close a door to a life that might have been. It felt so definitive.

But actually—it’s not. Every decision only has a temporary influence on our lives. Sure, we can’t go back in time to undo a decision, but we can always make a new decision to change direction. Or we can turn the original decision into something better.

There Are No "Good" or "Bad" Decisions

I don’t believe in “good” and “bad” decisions anymore. I only believe in making choices and then deciding what to do after. It’s not about the choice itself, but about how we respond to it. Any decision can be the right one if we treat it like it is.

Instead of regretting the path not taken, go all in on the path you did choose. Pretend it’s the best decision you could’ve made. Trust yourself. Trust your ability to make it work. It’s like buying a house: in the end, it doesn’t really matter which house you buy—it’s about making it feel like home.

More Options, Less Satisfaction

In today’s world, we are overwhelmed with options. We can decide every single detail of everything we own—and it makes us miserable. The more options we have, the less satisfied we feel because we’re constantly reminded of the other doors we didn’t open.

Here’s a reminder: sometimes, there are multiple right answers. Instead of obsessing over what you want, focus on how you want to feel. Many choices can bring you that feeling. So instead of obsessing over the "perfect" choice, commit to any choice—and follow through.

Random Can Be Right

Sometimes, it’s easier (and better) to just make a random decision and go with it. Make it worth choosing. The time we waste chasing the “right” choice only makes us unhappy. So, ignore the endless options. Choose the one that makes you even slightly happier—and run with it.

Life Is Not a Yes or No Question

Life isn’t black and white. It’s more like an open-ended question. There are no wrong answers—only weak or strong arguments. Every experience has value. Even the “wrong” ones.

Bad decisions don’t really exist—because every decision leads to a lesson. You learn more about yourself by stepping outside your comfort zone. You learn by trying, failing, improving. The only bad decision is to make none at all.

No Decision Is a Decision

If you don’t make a choice, life will choose for you. If you’re lucky, nothing changes. But if you’re unlucky, change will come—and you’ll be unprepared.

Procrastination leads to regret. Sometimes, options disappear while we hesitate. And we procrastinate out of fear: fear of failure, of messing things up, of disappointment, of change. Fear, fear, fear.

But fear is also a gift. It shows you where you lack confidence. Where you need growth. We fear the unknown because it could hurt us—but pain is always followed by growth. Let curiosity win over fear.

Say Yes to Change

Say yes to every life-changing opportunity. You only live once—so make it worth it. Even if it’s scary. Even if it’s messy. Try it anyway. You’ll gain confidence, clarity, and self-awareness.

And let’s be honest—“life-changing decisions” are overrated. Real change doesn’t come from one big leap. It comes from the accumulation of small choices. Moving to a new country won’t change you if your habits stay the same. Change your decisions consistently, and life will follow.

Conclusion: Make the Decision Worth It

You don't need to obsess over the "perfect" decision. There are many right paths. What matters most is what you do with the path you take.

So here’s your call to action:

• Stop overthinking.

• Pick something.

• Go all in.

• Make it worth choosing.

Decide. Commit. Grow.

Your future self will thank you.

Lots of Love, Annelie

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I still have a lot of unfinished essay prompts in my archive, yet I just opened a new doc and started typing from scratch again. “You can start over as many times as you want” That’s one of life’s rules, isn’t it?

Instead of working with a lot of pressure, I just start to write for fun - not because I have to finish this article, but because starting it makes me feel happy. It’s peaceful to know that your happiness determined by your own, and only your own actions. Happiness comes from within. I write for me. Because it makes me happy. And instead of putting this article in my archive again, I will share it. Finished or not. Who cares. Life is too short to keep everything to yourself and to be scared of showing unfinished products. Perfection doesn’t exist anyway, and I will grow throughout the way. Showing people some of my ‘not reread and rewritten for 17 times’ essays can help actually. People can give advice. “Or not.” - But anxiety can’t stop me from sharing what I think. It shouldn’t.

One of the most important things I’ve learned in life is to become vulnerable. Vulnerability shows that you accept that you are the way you are. That the hurtful things that happened in the past, don’t define you and that you are aware of that. Embracing hard emotions and dealing with traumas is something we all have to go through to actually be happy. At least that’s what I choose to believe.

When you feel stuck. Start over. Start from scratch again. Analyze. And notice what you did wrong. Start over. When you realize you’re unhappy. Do something else. Try. Try again. Time will pass either way, so why chose to do the same things over and over again? I get it: it’s comfortable, it’s familiar. But don’t let that stop you from discovering your full potential. You’re a unique creature, and you’re worthy of being seen. You’re worthy of existing. You’re worthy of discovering. You are worthy.

It’s never too late to start over. You can always reprogram your mind and reinvent yourself. Of course these things don’t happen overnight, yet that’s the beauty of life. Beautiful things take a long time to grow, and it’s in fact the process of growing that is the most interesting and satisfying. We can’t control time, but we can control what we do with it. So choose wisely.

Furthermore, starting over can be a way to express suppressed emotions and interests. To embrace old scars and to heal your inner child. It can help you to be your true self.

I guess there is some kind of peace hidden in the thought of being able to start over endlessly. Because that means that whenever you make a mistake, you can start over. One decision can’t determine your whole future, even if it might seem like that. And it’s not the decision that is really important, it is what you do with that decision; how you behave after deciding.

Overall, the ability to start over is one of life’s greatest gifts. It reminds us that we are not bound by our past or limited by one path. Every moment offers a fresh page, a new chance to grow, heal, and redefine who we are. So let go of perfection, embrace vulnerability, and begin again—whenever you need to.

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— We talk. We listen. We’re interested. We understand. We share. We bound.

Why I like deep conversations

The reason why I love deep talk so much is because it’s meaningful. Getting to know people on a deeper level requires some form of trust - mutual trust. Your connections become stronger since you’re putting effort in the conversation. The questions asked aren’t easy, you need to think a little before answering, and when you answer, you’re vulnerable. Not all deep conversations require you to share your deepest secrets, but it requires you to upon up, to say things that you might not be able to say to all the rest of the world. Deep conversations aren’t just casual day-to-day conversations, they’re unique and they should be educational in a way. Talking about controversial topics or past hurt can help you understand the topics better, especially when you talk about it with someone else. They can give you new perspectives and positively change your way of thinking.

When to have them

Most deep conversations come out of the blue. You don’t really plan them. Especially in the evening, good conversations tend to go deeper. I haven’t quite figured out why. Maybe when we’re tired we tend to overthink less and trust more, so we’re less scared to be vulnerable. However, deep conversations can also happen in the day. I think the best way to naturally grow the conversation deeper is to just sit somewhere and talk. Sit on a bench, sit at the beach or sit in your room. As long as you’re not doing anything else and your whole focus is on the conversation. Don’t be scared of silences in the conversation. They’re only awkward if you think they’re awkward, but to be honest, most silences are natural and sometimes a conversation requires some silences, to think and process what just happened. It’s okay to be speechless.

They improve relationships

I believe that when you’re trying to date someone or make a new friend, deep conversations allow you to find out if the other person is really a good match. It’s when being present in a conversation, you can really get to know each other. In every relationship, it’s important for both people to have similar values and mindsets. The fact that you both have the same favorite song or love the same series, is just an added value. In the long run, the values and mindsets is what makes you connect on a deeper level.

How

In order to have deep conversations, you need to know yourself first. If you don’t have opinions, if you don’t really know who you are, you can’t really answer the deep questions. You should be able to think for yourself. Self-awareness is very important. The more time you spend getting to know yourself, the more aware you become about yourself, the more you will actually be your authentic self instead of being someone based on their environment’s perception. If you want to become more mindful and self-conscious, my advice is journaling. I will always advise this habit, because it made me very self-aware. Journaling is a very bright concept, there is an endless amount of topics you can write about: you can journal about your day, you can analyze your emotions, you can write about your future plans, your favorite memories, why you do or do not like journaling. The only hard thing I would recommend is to dig deep. Don’t keep it simple. It’s a journal for you and you should not be scared to be vulnerable to yourself. It’s a practice that rewards you with self-knowledge and self-awareness. It will make you grow as an individual.

If you really want to have a deep conversation, but don’t know how to get to that point, you can just prepare some questions. Some of my favorite questions are: Name 10 things you like. What are your goals? What do you like the most about yourself? What are you proud of? I also like to understand other people’s perspective on social media and climate change and how they deal with it, because those are things I find hard to define. Asking advice from others can also help create more meaningful conversation. You can talk about personal issues and by making yourself vulnerable, you show a sign of trust which makes the other person trust you too.

Briefly

To put it briefly, deep conversations strengthen your connection. By being fully present in a conversation, you can increase the value of it. These conversations make you wiser, since other people’s perspectives can make you look differently at things and educate you. In deep conversation, you put yourself vulnerable, which builds trust in the relationship. You also get to know yourself more, although it is required to have some self-awareness beforehand.

Deep talk prompts

• Some part of me doesn’t like it when people tell me they miss me. I feel pressured to miss them too. But another part of me feels very honored to be missed. I do think it’s cute when people miss me, but just don’t miss me too much. I guess too much is never good. Also, missing someone isn’t the same as loving someone. You can miss someone without loving them. Can you really miss someone? Or do you miss how they make you feel?

• What is love? How do you want to be loved?

• I don’t think it’s fair to promise someone you will love them forever

• Everything in life is temporary

• Name a quote that changed you’re life

• Who is the most influential person/ celebrity you know? Why?

• We are limitless

• “The one” doesn’t exists

• Do you believe in “Right person wrong time”?

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