Can we attract without chasing?

Recently I became obsessed with the quote ‘I don’t chase, I attract’, but what does is actually mean?

When we say ‘I don’t chase’, does it mean I should stop setting the first step?

When I think about chasing, I think about blindly running after something, not caring about anything else, and just focusing on that 1 thing. You’re trying to catch something, that is in fact, running away from you.

• I don’t chase people

• I do chase dreams

We might shouldn’t chase people, but we can chase our dreams.

Illusions of others will never become reality. Even if you’re good at reading people, the fake scenario you make about them will never become real because they’re human, and, we can’t control humans. People will always be in charge of their own behavior, and your imagination about them will always stay an imagination. It might sound quite brutal, but if you imagine how perfect other people are, you will become disappointed when you realize how they truly are: imperfect. Perfectly imperfect.

While fantasizing about others, we tend to only focus on their good qualities, rather than all their qualities, including the unsatisfying ones. Being realistic doesn’t mean you have to be pessimistic. You can acknowledge their poor qualities, without giving them all your attention.

I don’t believe chasing people is ever a good idea, because the right people will never dare to lose you. They will see your worth and not run away from it. Why would you put more effort into someone else than into yourself? Shift your focus.

I think chasing is a form of desperation. When we don’t know ourselves, we crave understanding from other people. We chase people we desire to be, since our fixed-mindset is telling us we can’t be them. We’re desperate for their love and attention, because we value them more than we value ourselves. We chase other people when we want something from them: love, money, attention, validation, etc.

You chase what you are not. So, if you want to stop chasing, you need to start changing. Find out what it is exactly that you crave in the other person, and start giving it to yourself. Mostly it is not a thing but a feeling. You might crave love, safety, stability or understanding. Start giving yourself these feelings by listening to yourself and spending time with yourself. Be your own friend. Make yourself happy.

Don’t chase people, chase your dreams. We should focus on making our dreams reality, rather than waiting for our imagination to suddenly become real. Dreams don’t work, unless you do. So chase your dreams. If you’re not consistent, if you stop chasing, you give the dream a chance to run away.

I believe life is too short to try to be liked by everyone. Instead of focusing on your popularity, shift your attention to your self-love. Loving yourself for who you truly are, is more valuable than being loved for being someone inauthentic.

When you’re chasing the right things, you will attract the right things. Chase attention and you will become lonely. Chase validation and you will attract insecure people. Chase your dreams, and you will attract success.

When we want to attract the right people, we need to interact with them. We need to initiate conversations, we need to go up to them and introduce ourselves. Setting the first step isn’t a chase, it’s an interaction with an opportunity you attracted.

We’re all human beings that crave connections. If you want to attract the right people, you need to go to places where you will find these people. Who are ‘the right people’ for you? Are they sporty? Socialize in a sport club. Are they artistic? Socialize in a museum or art class. If you feel like you’ve been attracting the wrong people, you might just have been looking in the wrong places. Though, the wrong people might feel more familiar, we should be ready to accept and allow the right people in.

Finally, in today’s society, I think it’s impossible to expect you will just suddenly attract the right people. People barely ever come to me first. Ask me to hang out. Put effort in me first. But that doesn’t mean they can’t be right for me. My time is precious. As an impatient person who doesn’t like to wait for others, I don’t mind setting the first step, asking to hang out first. How can people be attracted to me when they don’t know me? That’s why you should give people a chance to get to know you. So set that step. Let people in. Ask them to hang out first. And see how it turns out.

Lots of love <3